A great coach is a master at inspiring his players. It is said that Vince Lombardi could motivate otherwise mediocre players to greatness. Well I am here to tell you that Vince was a piker. Anson Dorrance, is the head coach of the North Carolina Tarheels women's soccer team. NCAA women's soccer was sanctioned in 1982. Of the 39 championships, Anson's teams have won 21 of the them. That's right...53% of the time, his team won the NCAA championship. He is, quite simply, the greatest coach of all time.
One of the many things that Anson did to achieve his mind-blowing success was he removed the word "but" from his vocabulary. He replaced it with "and."
"But" dismisses everything before it. "And" uses it as a foundation
"Your left hand layup is looking good and those no-look passes are a thing of beauty but those free throws have got to improve." That is not a positive message...so let's use "and." "Your left hand layup is much improved and you are great at the no-look pass and if your free throw percentage goes up, you are going to be unstoppable." Now THAT is a message that inspires. What player doesn't want to be "unstoppable"? How else can this simple change help you? Your wife asks you about her outfit that isn't as becoming as it could be. Instead of looking at that as a minefield use it as an opportunity to be a great husband. "You are so lovely and if you wear the blue dress you might cause some cardiac issues." She feels loved, appreciated and beautiful instead of where that could have gone if you had used "but." The best thing about "and" is that it changes your mindset, you think of things more positively and that is something that we all need these days.