Updated: Jan 25
1- Fake Eyelashes
No guy ever said, “she would be hot if her eyelashes were longer.”
Pasting lawn rakes onto your eyelids looks ridiculous.
Quit it Or learn to fly
Full lips are nice, looking like a guppy is just dumb.
Injecting yourself with goop makes you look idiotic. Besides, it is dangerous to appear as though you need an injection with an epi pen.
It confuses the EMTs.
3- Painted on Eyebrows
Looking like a cheap doll is not attractive. Never has been. Never will be. Really...no words required. It is simply horrific
4- Fat Belly Crop Tops
According to NIH, over 70% of American women are Obese, Overweight, or Severely Obese.
Unless you are a workout fiend, don’t show the world your untrimmed brisket. Seriously... keep your unrendered tallow to yourself
5- Platform Shoes
Platform shoes are hideous. In addition, they make the most graceful move like a creation of Doctor Frankenstein.
While popular among 70s hookers, they are not a good look. If you want heels, toss the platforms and get some stilettos. Quit strapping bricks to your soles. It is ugly.
6- Size 10 dress on a Size 18 body
One-Size-Fits-All is great for somethings. Dresses are not among them.
Some seem to think that if they can stretch it over, it is okay. Sadly the results look like an overstuffed Polish Sausage.
Here’s a radical idea…get clothing that fits.
7- Bad Blonde Dye Job
Faking blonde hair is not a good idea to begin with.
Unless you are willing to spend many hours in a chair being breathing harsh chemicals and spending thousands upon thousands of dollars every year, your hair will not be convincing.
Dark roots look like dandelions in the expansion joint of a highway...just sad, forlorn and messy. Seriously, it is as sexy as an anal pustule
Whoever said “hey, let’s take botulism and inject it into our faces” was a monumental idiot. But no matter how moronic they are they are not as stupid as those that pay to have it done.
In addition to violating basic logic, the results are almost universally horrific.
Unless, of course, one wants to limit their eyebrow movement and look like they are sporting a butt plug made of ice.
9- Plastic Surgery
Virtually all plastic surgery turns out poorly...or worse. In the rare occasions when it does work out, the positive results are short lived. The human and the modification age at different rates. Basically, cosmetic surgery is for people that don't have mirrors...but like scaring small children. The rest of us just laugh.
10- Hard Boobs
Most men love tits...especially big tits.
Stretched, overinflated basketballs, however, are not attractive, enticing or alluring, with the possible exception of a performing seal.
Seriously, this makes one want to call the doctor that pops pimples. This is not hot. At all
Ladies, there are things that improve your looks.
Work on your health.
Lose some weight.
Find a good hairdresser. Get clothes that fit. Want to know something that is even more attractive?
Smile seriously, how hard is that? Don't be petty do you really care about the little stuff? Be mentally stable If she takes psychotropic drugs, run...don't walk and if that doesn't work
show up naked bring beer